“Magna Cool Ranch Carta”

Chip Club has attempted to build a delicious little foundation of knowledge that we call the “Magna Cool Ranch Carta”. Here is a brief snippet from page 13, section 8, paragraph 3:

The chip hierarchy is established with nesting categories: “Chips” are the standard bearers, encompassing all crunchy, relatively thin, somewhat curved and cooked (baked, puffed, kettle-cooked or fried) edible morsels. Within the “Chips” mother class, are “Cheps,” which must be composed of potatoes, corn or flour tortilla and, in terms of flavor, are fairly well rated, but lack something that keeps them from approaching culinary genius. At the summit of the chip period, and existing within “Cheps,” are “Cheops”: the Hope Diamond of chips, truly exquisite in flavor, and made from either potato or flour tortilla.
Under the “Chips” umbrella, but exclusive from “Cheops” and “Cheps,” exist two other varieties of the snack. The first is “Chimps,” which are made from a fruit (e.g. banana) or a vegetable other than potato (e.g. cassava) and would probably be consumed by your average chimpanzee. The second is “Chumps,” which include, but are not limited to any of the following:
1) a chip made from vegetable or potato powder (e.g. Veggie Crisps, Pringles);
2) a Pita, Bagel or other “bread” chip;
3) a chip posing as a chip, but is really more of a cracker in texture;
4) a “crisp” or a “puff”;
5) shredded lettuce and mayonnaise mixed together;
6) Styrofoam peanuts.
A chip should also not be constructed from animal parts, nor should it be fried in animal oil. And from henceforth, all foreign products must be stamped with the correct seal to indicate MSG levels above and beyond that which might induce stroke.